dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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