The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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