i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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