3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
