we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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