I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
