I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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