you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
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If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
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Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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