I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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