Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
