just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
