Sponge bath it is.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
