fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
