I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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