hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
