Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My ass is underappreciated
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
