The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize