I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
