so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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