As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
