You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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