The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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