ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
