i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
