i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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