Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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