i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
