Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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