I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
