I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize