You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
