just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
