just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
