I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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