NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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