glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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