I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I will be naked everywhere
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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