I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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