Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
