they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
