the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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