Have you finally orgasmed yet?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize