he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm always down for nudity.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
