i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
