You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
