How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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