lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
