I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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