you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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