Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I need a burrito and a hug.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
