Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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