he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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