So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
